Thursday, March 5, 2015

F Really

If you've ever read The Bloggess, you might have come across one of her posts about the search queries that bring people to her blog. It's probably my search marketing nerd side talking, but I love search keywords, and I'm 100% sure they're indicative of some greater truth about human kind. Probably the truth that we're all nuts.

Now that we have the store up and running, we're starting to get some search engine traffic for – so I thought I'd take a look at what searches are bringing O&C up in Google.

These are keyword impressions, not clicks, so people aren't necessarily clicking on O&C – which is probably good in some cases (you'll see).

The Top Ten: 

So O&C has shown up 90 times in Google for "fart valentine cards." Hurrah! Mission accomplished?

Sometimes when I look at search keywords I try to imagine what situation would cause someone to type those words into Google.

"Here's a cookie?" Do you have a cookie you're trying to get rid of? Because let me just give you my home address, stranger.

"Human baby shower?" Yes, I, too, would like to learn about human baby showers, as I have only ever been to cat and alien showers.

"F really?" F really? Yeah, really. Suck it up, though, man. Google probably can't help you.

Once you get further down the list, it gets more random and then slightly scary:

"You didn't give me" Give you what? This made a little more sense when I googled it myself and saw one of our Mother's Day cards showing up in image search. But still, what are people actually looking for when they type this? It seems like a writing prompt for a lot of sad, sad, stories. You didn't give me a chance. You didn't give me flowers. You didn't give me what I needed. OR maybe it's not so sad. You didn't give me syphilis.

"Poop pictures" I'm not sure I actually want us showing up for this.

"Birthday ass." Ditto.

And then there were a bunch of queries that started with "cead" + a number. I googled one of them – cead-007 – and then was scared to click on it cause I think it may be porn.

So I don't know what the lesson is, here, but I'm mostly just excited that we're showing up in Google, and that I could copy The Bloggess. SUCCESS!

Happy Almost Friday, folks!

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